"With you I am made new.
With you I am whole, not lacking anything.
You turn my darkness into light and my pain into joy.
You take my mangled and shattered, and make something beautiful.
With you I am brave.
With you I can take that first step off the edge.
Some days I don't know where I am going, but I know that with you I will be safe.
With you I am kind.
With you I can love with every fiber of my being.
With you, even my enemies know what it means to be loved. With you there is beauty in everything, even in the pain and darkness.
With you I have purpose.
With you I know what it means to have a burning passion.
You have given me dreams that fill my heart full of anticipation.
With you...I have you. No thing is greater. No person, no love, nor dream or reality.
With you there is the greatest love.
With you I have all I need."
Sunday, March 19, 2017
Thursday, March 16, 2017
The Day I Decided to be Body Positive
Body Positive.
Its a concept I came across on instagram when I stumbled upon the account "bodyposipanda" (seriously, look this chick up.) She had one of those ever beloved, transformation Tuesday, "motivational", before and after pictures. On the left, was a slender, fit, obviously very attractive-to-all-the-guys girl. And on the right, was a girl who was chubby. She had belly rolls, thigh fat, a slight double chin...this was her "after". And hands down she looked worlds happier than in her "before." And honestly, even more beautiful in my opinion, because happiness adds that kind of beauty.
Post after post she talks about how happiness isn't a number on the scale. You don't reach happiness when you reach a certain size, weight, or goal. If you're not happy right now, with the body you already have, you won't be happy when you get the body you think you want. It's such a simple concept. It's so true. And at that moment, I decided I was going to stop trying to lose the weight.
Being body positive, loving your body, and being happy with your body isn't saying "I love my body the way it is" and then eating whatever you want. Loving your body still means taking care of it. It still means eating good for you foods, and giving it exercise, because that's part of loving it. But the other part of loving your body, is loving it, even if it never changed ever again. For better or for worse. When I look in the mirror now, I'm not looking to see how skinny something makes me look or feel, but instead I'm looking to see if I like the style I'm trying out that day. I'm deciding on the color of something, making sure it's modest, and comfortable, rather than how my belly looks in it. I'm not 100% there yet, because I still don't like my belly, chubby thighs, or double chin, but I am learning to love these things about me, because they may never ever change. I don't exercise or eat well to lose weight, I exercise and eat well because I want to love my body and take care of it. But I'm not going to kill myself with either, because I love my body and I want to take care of it.
I want to be healthy, but that's the other thing this girl talks about: mental health. Psychical health has become socially more important than mental health. If you're fit, active, toned, have good eating habits, etc. you're considered "healthy" even though your mental health may be toxic. See, I get that. I love my mom so much, but she has suffered from an eating disorder off and on all through her life. Her mom is the same way. Even still they have had terribly unhealthy habits. Making unwise food choices: eating too much or too little. They are never satisfied with their bodies. Always and forever "ten more pounds". "once my body changes I will be happy."
No, happiness isn't at the end of my taco, but it also isn't at the end of your kale. Be healthy. Be happy.
Xo, Ellen
Its a concept I came across on instagram when I stumbled upon the account "bodyposipanda" (seriously, look this chick up.) She had one of those ever beloved, transformation Tuesday, "motivational", before and after pictures. On the left, was a slender, fit, obviously very attractive-to-all-the-guys girl. And on the right, was a girl who was chubby. She had belly rolls, thigh fat, a slight double chin...this was her "after". And hands down she looked worlds happier than in her "before." And honestly, even more beautiful in my opinion, because happiness adds that kind of beauty.
Post after post she talks about how happiness isn't a number on the scale. You don't reach happiness when you reach a certain size, weight, or goal. If you're not happy right now, with the body you already have, you won't be happy when you get the body you think you want. It's such a simple concept. It's so true. And at that moment, I decided I was going to stop trying to lose the weight.
Being body positive, loving your body, and being happy with your body isn't saying "I love my body the way it is" and then eating whatever you want. Loving your body still means taking care of it. It still means eating good for you foods, and giving it exercise, because that's part of loving it. But the other part of loving your body, is loving it, even if it never changed ever again. For better or for worse. When I look in the mirror now, I'm not looking to see how skinny something makes me look or feel, but instead I'm looking to see if I like the style I'm trying out that day. I'm deciding on the color of something, making sure it's modest, and comfortable, rather than how my belly looks in it. I'm not 100% there yet, because I still don't like my belly, chubby thighs, or double chin, but I am learning to love these things about me, because they may never ever change. I don't exercise or eat well to lose weight, I exercise and eat well because I want to love my body and take care of it. But I'm not going to kill myself with either, because I love my body and I want to take care of it.
I want to be healthy, but that's the other thing this girl talks about: mental health. Psychical health has become socially more important than mental health. If you're fit, active, toned, have good eating habits, etc. you're considered "healthy" even though your mental health may be toxic. See, I get that. I love my mom so much, but she has suffered from an eating disorder off and on all through her life. Her mom is the same way. Even still they have had terribly unhealthy habits. Making unwise food choices: eating too much or too little. They are never satisfied with their bodies. Always and forever "ten more pounds". "once my body changes I will be happy."
No, happiness isn't at the end of my taco, but it also isn't at the end of your kale. Be healthy. Be happy.
Xo, Ellen
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
Only Sort of Feminist
Well it's international women's day. Logically, women were on my mind. I know a great many women, and many different kinds of women. I know women who work, women who stay home, women who have kids, women who have kids they adopted, women who work and have kids, women who work out, women who are overweight, women who are happy, women that are sour, women that are courageous, women that have wanderlust, women who speak three languages, women who are doctors, women who sell products out of their homes, women who have changed their world. In someway or another, every woman who has ever been has changed the reality of someone.
See, I don't call myself a "feminist". Because even though they proclaim "equality" they degrade men. Being woman is not oppressive. Women who think that have a warped perspective on what it is to be a woman! Being a woman is empowering and powerful, and always has been.
Women: the "man" behind their men:
Throughout history there is no doubt a great lack of recognized women in the renowned sense. But that's only when you look at the surface. Consider this: behind every great, powerful, and respected man in our history, there was more than likely a woman, not a man, who was there. There was someone making sure he had a safe haven, a clean home, clean clothes, food on the table, and that his babies were being raised right. But these women have always been so. much. more. Not only are they tending to the needs of their man, but they are also his greatest confidant, adviser and counselor. Women have such a rule and we don't even realize.
Women have always been powerful, but we have become discontent with humility. I don't say this lightly. Women have always possessed a natural power at commanding a room. The details of every woman's ability differs, but every woman is capable. And that's nothing new. What is new, is that we are shredding tradition that has cloaked us with a most attractive quality: humility. We've always been powerful, now we want people to recognize us for it. TEL ME HOW POWERFUL I AM. In our strive for the notable power, we have begun being a world full of awful people. We are actively degrading the system. Men who say "a woman can't do that" are being sexist. That is a true thing. But men who hold the door are being polite, chivalrous. Don't be offended when a gentleman offers to carry something heavy, that's not him putting you down, if anything, it thrusts you to a position of power over him. If that's what you crave so much, let him carry the darn box, and then you get to be the woman walking confidently, flaunting your womanly-ness and directing him.
Allowing men to be men, thrusts you, naturally, into a position of power. If you want to get into the nitty gritty of a job, so be it. But when women say they "crave the power men have" I feel like they are talking specifically about being corporate leaders, and not getting into the dirty details of a job. Allowing men to fulfil their natural needs and desires to work hard, allows you the opportunity you so long for to be a person of power. Asserting your feminism only creates a fight, where asserting your femininity calls the attention you need to create power in a situation.
Women do have power, so much so, that we actually need to be really careful. Now that we have uncovered that women, do in fact, have great power, I have a warning. Women's power can quickly become manipulation. In our tasteful and classy ways of creating environments in which we have the power, be careful that you are not being a manipulator. Manipulation from a man is abuse. Therefore, in your fight for "equality", your manipulation is likewise abusive. Do not, do not, be a manipulator. Manipulators are toxic people.
Be feminine. And that will be enough.
But wait, there's more!
Remember when I was talking about the kind of powerful women used to be? I wanna touch back on that, because as powerful as it may seem and feel to command a room full of men in suits, I think the home is our greatest asset in our search for power. Not just being the biggest fan of the leaders in the world, but the molders, shapers, and trainers of the future leaders of this world. Being a mother is one of the most powerful positions ever created. Funny, it as one of the first ever created.
Women who work in the corporate world or in the home, it doesn't matter. You're your own kind of powerful! Own it! Work it! Use it! Make the world a better place with it!
#femininenotfeminist
Xo,
Ellen
See, I don't call myself a "feminist". Because even though they proclaim "equality" they degrade men. Being woman is not oppressive. Women who think that have a warped perspective on what it is to be a woman! Being a woman is empowering and powerful, and always has been.
Women: the "man" behind their men:
Throughout history there is no doubt a great lack of recognized women in the renowned sense. But that's only when you look at the surface. Consider this: behind every great, powerful, and respected man in our history, there was more than likely a woman, not a man, who was there. There was someone making sure he had a safe haven, a clean home, clean clothes, food on the table, and that his babies were being raised right. But these women have always been so. much. more. Not only are they tending to the needs of their man, but they are also his greatest confidant, adviser and counselor. Women have such a rule and we don't even realize.
Women have always been powerful, but we have become discontent with humility. I don't say this lightly. Women have always possessed a natural power at commanding a room. The details of every woman's ability differs, but every woman is capable. And that's nothing new. What is new, is that we are shredding tradition that has cloaked us with a most attractive quality: humility. We've always been powerful, now we want people to recognize us for it. TEL ME HOW POWERFUL I AM. In our strive for the notable power, we have begun being a world full of awful people. We are actively degrading the system. Men who say "a woman can't do that" are being sexist. That is a true thing. But men who hold the door are being polite, chivalrous. Don't be offended when a gentleman offers to carry something heavy, that's not him putting you down, if anything, it thrusts you to a position of power over him. If that's what you crave so much, let him carry the darn box, and then you get to be the woman walking confidently, flaunting your womanly-ness and directing him.
Allowing men to be men, thrusts you, naturally, into a position of power. If you want to get into the nitty gritty of a job, so be it. But when women say they "crave the power men have" I feel like they are talking specifically about being corporate leaders, and not getting into the dirty details of a job. Allowing men to fulfil their natural needs and desires to work hard, allows you the opportunity you so long for to be a person of power. Asserting your feminism only creates a fight, where asserting your femininity calls the attention you need to create power in a situation.
Women do have power, so much so, that we actually need to be really careful. Now that we have uncovered that women, do in fact, have great power, I have a warning. Women's power can quickly become manipulation. In our tasteful and classy ways of creating environments in which we have the power, be careful that you are not being a manipulator. Manipulation from a man is abuse. Therefore, in your fight for "equality", your manipulation is likewise abusive. Do not, do not, be a manipulator. Manipulators are toxic people.
Be feminine. And that will be enough.
But wait, there's more!
Remember when I was talking about the kind of powerful women used to be? I wanna touch back on that, because as powerful as it may seem and feel to command a room full of men in suits, I think the home is our greatest asset in our search for power. Not just being the biggest fan of the leaders in the world, but the molders, shapers, and trainers of the future leaders of this world. Being a mother is one of the most powerful positions ever created. Funny, it as one of the first ever created.
Women who work in the corporate world or in the home, it doesn't matter. You're your own kind of powerful! Own it! Work it! Use it! Make the world a better place with it!
#femininenotfeminist
Xo,
Ellen
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
Why "This Is Us" is a story for all of us
To be just completely honest, I started the show because Milo Ventimiglia. But I stayed with the show because I fell in love with all of them (Sorry Milo)
If you have experienced, gone through, done, or suffered any of the following:
I have quite literally never seen a show that singlehandedly takes on so many issues. One or two of these sure, but never all of them. Certainly, not all of these things are central to the story, but most of them are central for at least one or more characters. If you have ever wanted to see a show where there's that someone in it you can identify with, This Is Us is it.
There's something satisfying about watching a show, tears rolling down your cheek, and saying "yes. I thought I was the only one, but I'm not" because fictional or not, someone had to write it- which means someone has walked a road similar to yours, which means your reality has been a reality for someone else. There's comfort in knowing you're not alone, and This Is Us has done just that.
They way the show is done, you feel like you're walking this road of life with them. Also the way the show is written, you're trying to figure things out right along side them.
Besides just gripping you with dramatic yet realistic storytelling, This Is Us is a phenomenal idea. You don't know everyone's story. There's always so much more behind a person than just what they let you see. There's always an element to their story that has helped make a person into who they are today.
Watch This Is Us, and let it cause you to consider people more deeply, and more dearly. You don't know where someone else may be on their journey <3
Xo,
Ellen
If you have experienced, gone through, done, or suffered any of the following:
- death
- adoption
- racism
- obesity/difficulty losing weight
- relationships(romantic and family)
- divorce
- discovering someone you love is gay
- eating disorder
- miscarriage
- step-parent relationship
- panic attacks/anxiety
- general confusion about what you're supposed to be doing with your life?
I have quite literally never seen a show that singlehandedly takes on so many issues. One or two of these sure, but never all of them. Certainly, not all of these things are central to the story, but most of them are central for at least one or more characters. If you have ever wanted to see a show where there's that someone in it you can identify with, This Is Us is it.
There's something satisfying about watching a show, tears rolling down your cheek, and saying "yes. I thought I was the only one, but I'm not" because fictional or not, someone had to write it- which means someone has walked a road similar to yours, which means your reality has been a reality for someone else. There's comfort in knowing you're not alone, and This Is Us has done just that.
They way the show is done, you feel like you're walking this road of life with them. Also the way the show is written, you're trying to figure things out right along side them.
Besides just gripping you with dramatic yet realistic storytelling, This Is Us is a phenomenal idea. You don't know everyone's story. There's always so much more behind a person than just what they let you see. There's always an element to their story that has helped make a person into who they are today.
Watch This Is Us, and let it cause you to consider people more deeply, and more dearly. You don't know where someone else may be on their journey <3
Xo,
Ellen
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