Pain of recent days

Do you ever just feel quiet in the valleys? Sometimes, I feel like I have agonized and screamed out in pain so much that I can't even speak, and I become very quiet.

I've had a very painful few weeks. Relationships I had high hopes for ended, circumstances with others became difficult, awkward, and tense, and loss I prayed so hard against, all became facets in some very dark days.

I haven't gone anywhere, but I have found myself very quiet, I have pulled into myself, instead of expressing myself- because it hurts so much less.

I chastised myself for being so unwilling to be vulnerable, but I don't think I can handle the possibility of being torn to shreds right now. My soul is feeling so weary that I'm keeping it kind of locked up. And when I do let it out, I can assure you, it is a most unpleasant sight. I am so very clumsy and careless in what I say. I've torn someone to shreds over something kind of trivial, simply because everything else was so pressing. 

Pray for me, readers. I covet them.